Contract Part 2 just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

Monday April/7/2014
Rearmed with my lost pants

Dating Contract

So you have decided to go on a date with me. Here a few details to look over before the date is official.


Sign here please ______________
that you said yes of your own free will and was not coerced, extorted, or manipulated in any way.

The following conditions apply to the date;

I, ______________ will make all of the arrangements since I am the one asking for the date. I will have a plan and I will attempt to make it as fun as possible.
I will provide transportation to and from if it is needed or requested. In that conditional agreement that said transportation is provided I will make sure I see you safely to the door and/or meet and important people at the original pickup including going inside your house to meet parents if that is something that you should require.

If dinner is the objective of this agreement I will hereby pay for the dinner as I am the one requesting the pleasure of your company.

 I will ATTEMPT to make you laugh.
      a. Not responsible for any of my jokes if you are offended
I will ATTEMPT to make you feel beautiful and special
      b. If that doesn't happen, no hard feelings
I will NOT drink to excess
I will NOT attempt to fight any individuals or group of individuals
     b. in the exception of extreme circumstances
I will NOT break the law
     b. unless absolutely necessary
I will NOT try to pick up the waitress and/or negotiate a side contract with her for another occasion
I will show up if I say I am going to
I will be a man of my word
       b. I will have integrity and attempt to act at all times in a manner I believe to be morally right based off my experiences and perspectives.
I will NOT give you a fake name and/or any false information about my person to "sound cool"
      b. for example: introduce myself as DR. Jones and talk about fictional jets I may or may not own.
I WILL attempt to pay attention and do my best to get to know you
I will wear appropriate attire
       b. for example not wear a suit of armor to a pool party, not go hiking dressed in a deer costume, not wear an I'm with stupid t-shirt
I do not put out on the first date so please try to control yourself
 

The datee

Your responsibilities:
Please make an attempt to the best of your ability. The following are optional but may result in the date being terminated immediately

If you could refrain from:
Committing Crimes:
     b.)for example - Don't murder me
Racism
Bigotry
Rudeness in general
Smoking Crack
Excessive drinking
Excessive drinking and crying
Crying
Getting me into fights for no reason
Be on your phone the whole time
Throw a glass of liquid at or around my face

If you could ATTEMPT the following:
Be on time
Be yourself
Try to have fun
Dress appropriate to the situation

That is it. Show up, be yourself or a close approximation, dress nice, and try to have fun.


This is no way guarantees a second date for either party. A new verbal contract can be worked out later if both parties deem each other worthy.




For any things that come up that have been left out of the contract we can mutually decide the course of action

If the date needs to be terminated for any reason either partycan walk away at any time

Sign here _________________
PatientZeroBlue___________________