Contract - all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

PatientZeroBlue

March 31 2014

Monday Last minute

Dating Contract

I no longer date as I am happily engaged but I couldn't think of an encounter that was so much like a contract and based off so many different factors.

The following is meant to not be taken seriously

All of the following is based on whether you accept the offer for the date

If we are going on a date I will do the following

1)      Pick you up

2)      Hold all doors and other courtesies

3)      Pay for dinner

4)      Dress nice

5)      Be genuine

6)      Be myself

7)      Make you feel pretty and special

8)      I will not hit on our waitress.

9)      I will not get blackout drunk.

10)  I will show you a good time
10)  I will not talk about exes

11)  Make sure you get home safe

12)  Call you again (probably)

Your responsibilities include

1)      Dress nice and be on time

2)      Not go on your phone

3)      Not talk about ex-boyfriends

4)      Not be rude to the servers or anyone else

5)      Be yourself and try to have fun

6)      Will not get really drunk and start crying

7)      Seriously though number 6.

8)      Will not “fake an engagement” to get us free drinks

9)      Actually 8 is ok.

10)  Never ask me “what are you thinking about?” or “what’s wrong?”

11)  Don’t mention marriage or kids or tell me “we really should be together”

12)  If dollar value spent exceeds over 100$ you will be expected to “put out”

13)  JK about 8.

If any of these are broken by the date or myself the date can be terminated at any time.

 If at any time either party is looking at the door like it is a life raft the date can be terminated immediately.

If at any time there is “an emergency” whether real or otherwise that party can be excused.
No stalking by either party. 

There is under no circumstance a guarantee for a second date from either party.